The Shift Series Box Set by Beca Lewis

Author:Beca Lewis
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Perception Publishing
Published: 2019-08-31T00:00:00+00:00

What And Where Is Self-Love?

There are many paths to enlightenment. Be sure to take one with a heart.—Lao Tzu

Recently I started thinking about the idea of self-love. I begin wondering what the difference is between the self-love we want, and the self-love we don’t want. Because on the one hand we hear we should learn to love ourselves, yet on the other hand we hear that self-love is selfish. It turns out, the word self-love can mean the exact opposite depending on who is saying it, and how it is used.

My mentor used to say this to me, “Self-love is more opaque than a solid body.”* I often thought, “huh” when she said it, and decided she must not be talking about me, since I was so often down on myself. Where was my self-love?

Yet, looking back, I know she was trying to tell me something about myself. Now I see that being down on myself was the negative version of self-love. I was often attempting to find something I needed, by giving to others, so I could have what I thought I lacked. It was still really all about me.

That is what the negative self-love is about; it is “all about me.” It rests in the human personality, and ego of self, and not surprisingly, it does not ever bring permanent happiness.

I wasn’t trying to make life all about me. I was trying to be a good wife, mother, daughter, employee, and service provider. I was trying to do the right thing, all the time. However, because I didn’t understand that loving myself meant not loving the human personality self, but loving the qualities of God present as me, I was often in need. This meant that without realizing it, life was often all about me.

Do we need self-love? Absolutely, but which kind? Jesus’ admonition to “love thy neighbor as thyself” states clearly that we had better love ourselves well if we are going to treat our neighbors well too. This is tricky, I know. Same phrase, entirely different meanings, and entirely different results.

Perhaps the first step to seeing the difference between the two kinds of self-love is to begin with the question, “What premise is our self-love based upon?”

Is it self-love beginning with the premise of a human personality and needs—where we take care of ourselves through will power, positive thinking, control, destructive behavior (which is actually inverted control and will power), and hard work?

Or is it self-love beginning with the premise that we are the presence of Infinite Intelligent Love, which eliminates need of all kinds?

With the second form of self-love, we love ourselves because we are the reflection and expression, of God.

We observe the qualities of God that we uniquely express, and cherish their presence as us. We care for ourselves within the context of caring for the gift that we are to each other.

As knowledge of ourselves as the qualities of divine Love increases, so does our self-love. This is an easy love to have. This self-love removes ego.

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